A last thing or two. I am a goofball but boy has this blog been SERIOUS. Maybe I'll find my funny at some point. I am writing for me anyway and this serious voice is just the one coming naturally. As far as quitting forever, I had the thought that for much of my unsober time, drinking (or other things) were kind of edgy, both alone and with others. I am beginning to feel like it may be edgier NOT to do those things. Face anxiety, depression, grief, creativity, loneliness, joy, curiosity, love, with complete clarity and without fear. Living life as a real person. That feels and sounds heroic. I like thinking about not being a drinker for the rest of my life. I do not have to be resigned to a life of substance use and abuse. That is fucking ridiculous and a lie and lazy and boring and useless and depressing to think otherwise. I am smarter and deeper than that. There is something cool about sobriety.....hmm..I truly have never thought about it like that before. Beautiful early evening in the backyard running around with our dog and my husband and son. My son's laughter is just truly magical. We were so clear and happy. I am grateful for that, and to have experienced it sober. I feel like we have been doing more interesting and interactive things as a family this past week. We are really connecting. It is a blessing. Now to sleep with no booze in me. Good night, Day 8, and Night 8. Tomorrow Day 9 and the eve of double-digit sobriety.
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