Day 74: Unflipping the Party Switch

It's funny to consider myself a non-drinker.  Good funny.  Before I would hear about folks taking breaks/stopping drinking/living sober, and I thought, huh, now those are concepts I just don't understand.  I guess I assumed I would always be a drinker or a (tame) party gal.  Having the "party switch" available to be flipped basically any time I chose for such a long time created a little monster in my head.  I basically did what I wanted, when I wanted.  When I got into my thirties, things slowed down, but I definitely still had my binges from time to time.  When I was pregnant, it was so easy to not drink- I loved it and I felt (mostly) fantastic.  Now that I have stopped drinking of my own accord and through personal heartfelt decision, I feel a different sense of self and kind of re-born.  Caring for my dad and then losing him was life-altering.  Having my son has been life-altering.  Getting sober has been life-altering.  I still feel so early days and it makes me a tad uncomfortable saying I'm sober, because it's like, who am I?  Day 74?  Very early.  I have a long way to go.  I really want this to continue. Not taking any day for granted.  I am doing it, though.  I have been relieved to see that drinking does not have to be forever!  It is not a life sentence!  It's exhilarating to see this.

The time I have had, mostly at home, has created a really good foundation for continuing my sober journey.  I've had a lot of time to think, to talk with my husband, to see what is and is not a trigger, and to get comfortable in my new sober skin.  I feel more equipped to handle events, other people, and the like.  This is just me- I think some people find it very helpful to got right on out there and just do what they would always do, without the alcohol.  It's different for me because we have our little dude, and don't go out to eat or hang with friends much these days.  I think this has been a blessing.  I have no real fear to do any of those things now.  In fact, we are seeing friends this weekend and I am very excited.  Looking forward to hanging out sober and driving home sober.  It is awesome.  These are friends we used to drink with, and who I assume will be drinking this upcoming evening.  It's all good.  Another weekend approaching and it will be boozeless- I love this new normal.