Day 75: Sobertastic

Whoa, Day 75!  How did that happen?  That is actually starting to sound close to 100, which was my initial sober goal.  Of course, now my sober goal is a little further out (the entirety of my LIFE- ahh!)..but this feels good.

I think the reason why I've had some trouble identifying myself as a sober person is because I'm scared I will fail.  Like, oh, you were "sober" and now you're drinking again, big surprise there.  But who would say that?  I haven't thought that about other people I've heard that stopped and resumed.  No way.  I guess it would be me thinking that.  I have been taking this very seriously and I don't want to mess it up at all.  I honestly haven't even been drawn to AF wine or AF beer, because it seems too close to the real thing.  This is nothing against folks who enjoy these types of drinks, by the way.  I can see them being a really good alternative, especially if there is a craving afoot.  For me, it's just too close, at least right now.  As far as my sobriety, I think  I am all in on this.  So I may as well tell anyone who inquires, because I am committed.  Maybe I was scared to admit that before (again, scared to fail).

I had a random urge last night.  I don't remember it being triggered by anything- I really need to pay attention to that.  But I wasn't moping around, I think I was in a fine mood.  And then BOOM, a longing to drink.  I had it, I sat with it, I knew I wasn't going to, that frustrated me, then it passed and I was back to my old (new) self...sober and happy.  These urges do not disappear, and they are a tricky lot, but I can definitely say they have lessened in both intensity and frequency.  Thank the sober stars!

In other news, I believe I've lost almost 10 pounds.  I put on one or two because I made these butter-tastic cookies the other day and ate about a dozen (not an exaggeration), but still.  The booze weight does come off!  And who cares if I eat a dozen cookies.  I don't do that every day, and dang it, I haven't drank for 75 days- that is huge for me!  Anything is better than drinking...within reason :).  Much love to all and a very happy Friday to you.