Partyoholic?

Feeling bummed today for a few different reasons.  Hopefully it'll pass.  Had an emotional evening last night and as it occurred, I thought about how normally I'd absolutely drink to help smooth things.  Now today I review the events and I think, well those issues are still here.  Drinking would have solved nothing.  At this point, if I drink, I think I am going to seriously feel regret because I have a great amount of satisfaction for the amount of time I've been sober.  It has added so much to my life.  To blow it off would be so, so sad.  It's also hard to think about starting over.  I have a very nice warm feeling now about being sober.  I am very content with it (for the most part).  It's just something I want for my life, and a real accomplishment.  I still don't know if I was/am an alcoholic.  That seems so funny saying that because I have this blog dedicated to helping me express my journey in SOBRIETY!  It's seems like, duh!  Nobody writes that much about it or needs that release if it's no big thing!  Maybe I'm in denial?  I think part of me feels like I was/am, and then another part of me feels like I am more of a partyoholic, like my "thing" never used to be booze...but it was always something.  Or perhaps an escapeoholic?  Escaping emotional extremes?  Not sure.  I guess I have the rest of my life to contemplate it.  Anyway, who really cares, my feeling now is that I don't want to drink or do anything mind-altering and that's what matters.  Mucho love always.