Day 72: The Ghost of Drinking Future

A tough few days....and yet I survived them all, and survived them without a drop of booze.  Don't get me wrong- I had some urges.  They felt like knee-jerk reactions when things got particularly difficult, and though I recognized them for what they were, it didn't change the fact that they were indeed there.  I would think, this is horrible, wouldn't it be so helpful to mellow things a little?  Take a bit of the edge off.  Take some pain away.  Dull some bad memories.  Then soon after I think, ah but it would certainly not be mellowing..it would be consuming.  It would not do anything except make things worse.  Because of course IT WOULD NEVER BE JUST ONE!  Nope.  Not for me.  I see this very clearly.  I can see into the future...like the Ghost of Drinking Future.  I can see the pattern forming again very quickly, eerily quickly.  I shudder and know all too well that I cannot moderate, and really, at this point, I don't even want to or see any reason to.  Here it is Tuesday and I am able to look back thinking, well shoot, I did it.  I didn't drink through a weekend I knew would be tough, and that was tough.  So glad for this.