Monday, April 4, 2016

Checking In

Hello again. Checking in as I have a quiet moment while my son is napping and I am thinking on things. Still bothered by what I did Saturday evening. Asking my husband to get beer was such a shitty position to put him in. I can't believe I did that. I really thought I was kinder and wiser than that. I should probably stop beating myself up but I am really disappointed in myself. I must never, absolutely ever, do that to him or anyone ever again. If I do anything it must be on my own. Make myself do the buying, preparing, etc. But I don't want to do any of that. I really don't. It's early. Getting along completely fine, honestly. It seems like the deep well of sadness I fall into is my trigger. It's weird because I have been really upset off and on these past few weeks but haven't had much desire to drink or otherwise escape. Must have just been particularly horrible the other night. I would like to focus on positive things coming from being sober. Will think on those and write more later.

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