I feel better today. I am grateful for my husband, who loves me so much and really looked out for me and was there for me last night. I was really touched by that today. Really angry with myself for putting him in that position. I tried to put my sobriety into his hands. I didn't mean to, but it happened. I get so deep into a tunnel sometimes. It feels unending. I just don't understand it. Can't explain how horrible I felt doing that to him. I didn't push it last night but just the fact that I asked. If I am going to break my sobriety I need to do it myself. I need to purchase my own defeat. Sincerely vowing never to do that to him again.
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